Built From Chaos

  • Finding Balance: When Ambition Meets Personal Growth

    The Week the Fog Lifted Last week, I wasn’t myself. That’s the easy sentence. The harder one is this: Last week, I didn’t like who I was. Sleep had thinned out to scraps, three hours here, four there. My head felt like it was plugged into a low electrical hum that wouldn’t switch off. I rushed my medication reduction because I was tired of needing it. Tired of feeling managed. Tired of being regulated. So I forced it. And when you force chemistry, chemistry answers back. I didn’t explode. I didn’t shout.I became sharp. Short replies. Narrow patience. Conversations I…

  • Navigating Life’s Ups and Downs: Lessons from a Weekend

    It’s Sunday, 15th February 2026, and it’s strange how quickly things can shift. A few days ago I felt like I was coming apart at the seams. Irritable, combative, restless, unsure whether it was withdrawal, alcohol, or just me. Today feels different. Not euphoric. Not manic. Just steady. Which, at the moment, feels like progress. We’d been invited a couple of months ago to a Valentine’s evening meal at the Kingston Theatre Hotel in Hull. Something formal. Something a bit different. The kind of night where you make an effort. The day started with something simple: a trip to the…

  • From Medication to Clarity: My Journey with Anxiety

    This week has felt longer than seven days. Not because anything extraordinary happened, but because internally it’s been loud. I’m three weeks into reducing my medication. Not reducing it in theory, but in the physical, frustrating way where the tablet is so small you can barely split it anymore without it crumbling between your fingers. I’ve been on various medications since 2010. For years, if one thing was lowered, something else was there to cushion the drop. There was always another chemical buffering the system. Now there isn’t. At the same time, I stopped drinking at Christmas. That wasn’t a…

  • Navigating Life with ADHD and Anxiety

    Built From Chaos is a space where I write honestly about trying to build a solid life and career while managing ADHD, anxiety and the reality that motivation isn’t always there when you need it. I’ve worked in high-pressure environments where performance is expected regardless of what’s happening internally, and this blog is where I unpack that tension — the gap between how capable you know you are and how you sometimes actually feel — and explore what it really takes to stay steady, disciplined and moving forward when your head isn’t fully cooperating.